The Year of No

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And just like that, we are there months into the “New” not so new year and tomorrow I will get to celebrate my 22nd birthday! Its bitter-sweet and almost overwhelming to see where I am today compared to where I was last year. Today I feel blessed beyond words to the point where simple thoughts, memories and new experiences make my eyes watery. Though life isn’t perfect or worry free, I am now in a place where I have dreamed of being for a very long time. This year I wrote down a list of things I wanted to accomplish  and focus on for my new years resolution. My over all goal was to dedicate this year to myself, and come to the realization that in order to do so I was going to have to teach myself how to say “No” a little more often. Two months into this amazing year I started to feel fatigued and tired. My mind kept telling to keep going and so was the voice inside of me but my body felt otherwise. For about two weeks I kept pushing towards an imaginary goal I had set out for myself, brushing off all the signs my body was giving me. Snapping out of control for no absolute reason, picking fights with my husband over silly things, not wanting to talk to people I love and make me happy because I couldn’t bare the idea of having to explain myself when they asked ” you’re always busy what have you been up to?”

And all of a sudden I decided to just stop. I reminded myself what my goals were and where I wanted to be and I stopped, and started saying “No”. No I will not pressure myself to finish one class a moth. No I will not go to every event I get invited to. No I will not wake up every morning at 4:45am to make breakfast. No the laundry may not get put away the same day as the day it was washed. No I will no stress myself nor punish myself over how many blog post I write. I was mesmerized by realizing that nothing changed other than the huge chunk of stress being lifted of my shoulders. The world kept turning and everyone’s life kept going all while I kept saying no and that was such a relief, Lol.

I started this blog in the hopes of teaching others about the importance of taking care of ourselves and it is important to understand that eating healthy isn’t all that matters. Taking care of our health is just as important as taking care of our souls and taking the correct steps to detoxify out mind, body and soul from all that do us any good.

List of things I have been doing this past few months:

  1. Finished my first college course of the semester and working towards finishing another.
  2. Started rebuilding my relationship with God and have been to church almost every single weekend and to make it even better my husband started joining me
  3. I’ve tried so many awesome recipes that I can not wait to share with you all.
  4. I’ve gotten the opportunity to meet so many amazing, uplifting women.

 

You may have failed, but you are not a failure. That’s what you did. That’s not who you are.-Joel Osteen

With love and a pinch of salt always,

Ana.


Present Over Perfect

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“Have you ever ran a race where the finish line came to you?” That is something I heard this morning while I was at church, which got me saying to myself ” I’m glad I got out of my heated blanket this morning”

This week was full of changes, I came back from vacation, went back to work, started college again, managed to go back to the gym, spent time with my friends, finished all the work I was supposed finish by the end of this week, I was lucky to able to have an awesome four days off work due to a snow storm, I found an amazing church and went to my first service in over a year and yet, I found myself  not enjoying any of it…

I spent this whole week putting so much pressure on myself trying to give my 100% to everything and everyone forgetting all about myself. So many times I feel as is if it is my responsibility to make everything happen for everyone, I like to make life easier for them and end up forgetting a little about myself.

Earlier during the week I started reading a book called “Present over Perffect” Before I even opened the cover of the book, I was already so connected to it because of the tittle. I spend so much time attempting to become my own definition of perfect, forgetting about what really matters which is getting to enjoy life and make memories every single day.

One of my resolutions for this new year was to “make this year about me” and I going to do that. I am going to do great in school, have a clean home, eat healthy, build a stronger relationship with my husband, all while putting my self right on top of all of my priorities.

I know I want to be happy and get to soak up as much happiness and experiences from life and to achive that I have to go after it all, because I can and because I deserve to.

With love and a pinch of salt always,

Ana.

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New Years Resolutions

26234621_2083768951846318_1362102333_nSo it’s that time of the year where everyone is getting ready to welcome the new year and make radical changes in their lives, such as; become millionaires and lose 75 lbs by the end of January. I have to admit that I am one of those people, every year for as long as I can remember I’ve made new years resolutions. Not every year I am able to keep my word towards every resolution I’ve set for myself, but I find it motivating to have something to look forward to. This  year I want to share my new years resolutions here so I can stay accountable and reminded of what my priorities and should be when I start thinking that watching the 13 seasons of greys anatomy over again on Netflix sounds like a good idea.

1. Give 100% to school.

2. Build up a stronger relationship with my husband.

3. Read more.

4. Take Rosy (my dog) for more walks.

5. Doubt myself less.

6. Become closer to God.

7. Go to church more often.

8. Spend less time on my phone.

9. Save money.

10. Become healthier physically and mentally.

11. Practice more self-love.

12. Take more yoga classes.

13. Start writing my cook book!

14. Do things to better myself in a higher level.

15. Learn to enjoy the present.


I Can Not Wait To Say I Did It

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As I’m here getting ready to wrap up this year and say hello to 2018, I can’t help but to get a little emotional when I look back and realize how far I’ve came.

Lately I keep replaying a memory I have of myself standing in my room at my grandma’s house watching Kristina yang from “Grey’s Anatomy” perform a bad ass surgery and thinking to myself “I don’t know what I want my profession to be when I grow up, all I know is that I want to become a woman little girls want to be like when they grow up” I am twenty-one years old today and although I don’t want to be Kristina yang anymore, I still want to become a woman people look up to.

Growing up I somehow always felt like many times all odds were against me, and felt like it was 100x harder for me to accomplish things than it was for others not because of my abilities, but because of my circumstances. I remember wondering “when would it be my time”

As I write this, all I keep thinking about is my 10-year-old self and wishing I was there to tell myself to keep dreaming, although I may have not had a clue of what I was telling myself since I didn’t know any English then haha. And to my 17 year self struggling to get into a college for being undocumented, wish I was there to reassure myself that yes, your “time” it’s on it’s way.

Today I am a twenty-one year old woman, I am a wife, I am a daughter, I am a friend, I am Ana. Ana the 12 year girl didn’t know English, the 19 year Ana busting her butt working as a waitress working 40+ hours a week while being a full-time college student with all odds against her.

Remembering my roots and where I come from and how far I’ve came is ridiculously important to me. Having all of this present reminds me of my “purpose”

Thinking about my “purpose” reminds me of all the sacrifices my parents had to go through and still do today to provide me a better quality of life.

My “purpose” isn’t all about the 12-year-old Mexican girl who didn’t know English and tried so hard to be accepted by the white and black kids at my elementary school, but to the 21-year-old self I am today, who still doubts her self at times. My “purpose” is to let my mom know that all the people’s houses she had to clean and all the late nights and all the extra shifts were worth it. My “purpose” is for my husband to one day think to himself “wow, that’s my wife” and for our future children to be proud to have a mother like me. My “purpose” pushes me to become the woman I want to be and all the steps I’ve taken to become to woman. And it encompasses the nights crying trying to figure out who the hell I am and who am I supposed to be. It does not discriminate the times I’ve spent comparing myself to others attempting to become a little more like them to be accepted. Because that means that my “purpose” is rooted within me making all of me good enough. Because a purpose simply wouldn’t be complete without imperfections, flaws, stretch marks, ugly cries, dirty dishes or failing grades.

Because my motivation to strive is not a quote from a cliché movie, but rather the way of life I desire to live that I believe will be perfect for me. Because I am Ana, the girl who has struggled with her identity growing up, her interest, her passions, her likes and dislikes, and her finances and her relationships with other just like anyone else; I am just choosing to pursue happiness. One thing I’ve leaned is that trying to pressing the happiness others are going after is a waste of time, I know this because I’ve done it.

I can not wait to venture this new stage in my life where I will be going back to college to become something that I will and enjoy doing, along with pressuring all the things that fill me up with happiness and peace of mind. I can’t wait to keep meeting new people. I can’t wait to keep helping all of my special need students live their life to their fullest capacity. I cant wait to keep bettering my relationship with  my husband. I cant wait to reach all of my goals.

I cant wait to say I did this. I did this because I willed it for myself. I did this because I am the product of many sacrifices. I did this because I believe in myself and others believe in me. I did this because this is who I was meant to be. I cant wait to become the teacher, the wife , the daughter, the friend and the woman I strive to be .To empower myself and others. I cant wait to keep writing my story.

Ana.